i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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