The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize