He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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