I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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