please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
