i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Enjoy the penises
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize