but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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