Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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