What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it was like eating out sand paper
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
