I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
