Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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