Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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