NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
