well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
my liver is dry heaving
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
