I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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