Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
