I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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