I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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