I just saw a hot homeless man
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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