the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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