i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
