I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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