Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
