After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize