I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize