enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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