I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
