We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
