remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize