Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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