i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
