it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
