Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
