How's work?
Spinning.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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