Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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