I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize