i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
so much tequila, so little girl.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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