He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
