PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
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You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
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I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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