just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize
