so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
