It's just like the Real World with babies
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
