cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
