you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
