So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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