either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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