Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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