We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
