You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
