I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
