I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
