chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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