i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
