on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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