I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize