I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize