Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I cannot find my penis.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
