you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize