As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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